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The chaplain also confirmed the 55 pregnancies, as did two other officers who preferred to remain anonymous.
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He discovered messages on my phone and so I sat him down and poured the whole sorry tale out to him, feeling I was stamping on his heart with every word. I spent a lonely Christmas at my mother's house with nothing to do but wonder how I had got myself into this situation. I started therapy, and learned just how dysfunctional my life had been, and so little wonder I kept making new problems for myself.

I ignored it until I could do so no longer, until eventually, for what felt like the sake of my sanity, I resolved to do something about it.

A late arrival into the world of social media, I nevertheless embraced it as a kind of escape.

I am bound to say, though, that I wasn't solely culpable. I ended up marrying one of these complicated boyfriends.

He was by far the best of the bunch, a kind and generous man, but someone who could also be selfish and unfeeling.